I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
