What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
