I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
