By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
