I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
