whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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