I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
