2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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