I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
