He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The struggles of a small town man whore
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
