so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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