I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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