somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
