yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize