she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize