The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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