I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
