Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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