so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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