There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize