I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
