i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
