should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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