in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
