I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
