I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
