we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
