Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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