k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
