pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
