Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I love black thongs
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
