Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
