We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
