Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
