Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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