I want to walk on stilts...naked
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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