at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
