Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize