apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
