You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So much Jack, so little girl.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
