dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
