mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
where are my eyebrows?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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