I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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