guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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