ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
