I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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