Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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