if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
