Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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