at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
