At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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