Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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