I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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