Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
