I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
