i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
