ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize