Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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