i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
