If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Randomize
